10 Things I Hate About You: Syracuse

  1. Folks, if I wanted to root for the Orange, I would simply vote for the current president. Rack ‘em.
  2. Really though, making your mascot a color is *cups hands around mouth* DUMB. What is this, Stanford? At least they came to their senses in 2004 after deciding “Orangemen” should be changed to something gender-neutral.
  3. Also, turns out that when you make your team name a color, your mascot’s gonna be lame as hell too. In this case it’s a dumb blob that’s basically indistinguishable from the Orange Bowl mascot, except it’s worse because it wears a hat instead of a crown.
  4. I hate the Yankees and I hate these Shamrock Series unis. I hate jokes about how this combination is some sort of wet dream for the mythical frontrunner ND-NYY-Cowboys-Lakers fan. SMH, gonna close my eyes listen to this one on the radio like I’m some fucking dude on NDNation.
  5. ‘Cuse ruined two of our recent senior days — one (2003) that deprived Julius Jones of the single-season school rushing record and our team of a bowl game, and another (2008) that ended with snowballs being thrown on the field.
  6. Jim Boeheim is a rat-faced shit human.
  7. We have to hear every March about the genius of the perfectly-executed 2-3 zone and how it will affect teams in the tournament — even though it’s won one total national championship in 42 years under rat-face. Zone is the coward’s defense.
  8. Syracuse claims to have one of the best journalism schools in the country (sound like anyone we know?) but they also gave a degree to extremely-not-a-journalist, Santa-Claus-has-to-be-the-same-race-as-me, recently-fired-as-hell Megyn Kelly, so, no.
  9. I took it upon myself to gauge opposing fan sentiment and came across this collection of words, which technically qualifies as a sentence: “ND doesn’t scare me as much as the BC game.” Okay, this is a minor qualm with one commenter on one message board, but goddamn, what? Bots are out of control these days.
  10. I swear I wasn’t that nervous about this matchup until I learned that ‘Cuse is actually stellar on special teams. As in, #1 in S&P+ special teams. In the country. Just what we need, right? Cool cool cool cool cool.

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