NDNation Iowa State Postmortem

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

Brian Kelly knows how to win crappy bowl games. Matt Campbell is a mediocrity and he looks like Jar Jar Binks.  Who the hell had heard of the Camping World Bowl? That’s the kind of game BC goes to and plays Murray State. It was 8th grade CYO that did not prove anything meaningful. Jack is probably glad that we didn’t get into the Orange Bowl, because Florida could roll this team. It was a meaningless crap game versus a crap opponent. Whistling past the graveyard.

Did not watch a down of our meaningless bowl game against a putrid opponent. This morning I listened to kelly’s post game remarks and almost threw up. I’ve concluded that watching kelly say stupid stuff is more entertaining than his offense. They’re cynical frauds and wastrels with no vision of any merit whatsoever.

Other NC coaches did it with smaller budgets, spongy turf, a Longines scoreboard, patched uniforms and cold weather practices in that cavern of a drafty old fieldhouse. The biggest purple faced dick gets everything he wants while everyone else sucks dick for beer money.

It’s a game no one watched anyway. trying pretty hard to polish a turd. That turd is ND football 2019. ISU was no different than any of the other mediocre teams ND played this year. Beating them, while preferable to the alternative, gives us no new data or cause for optimism. does this mean Kelly will smoke cigars and eat cheeseburgers all winter, content with the program, and slip to coachocinco depths again? BK is clearly content with where this team is.

If “Kelly” were a verb, “Oklahoma” would be the sentence’s subject. He’s a meaty-meat meathead at heart. That some have softened after too many eggs nog and watching ND depants farm boys doesn’t change the outlook for the program. Overlong stretches of undereeming to shitless play this year.

That felt like a northeastern Massachusetts high school game. You know what the cognoscenti can glean from the our bowl win. You know. The one against a hapless one wi a shitty record. Perhaps our second worst bowl opponent other than hand picked Rutgers. Swarbrick and Kelly went a huntin for a patsy. what will be really sweet will be the misery the meanies will suffer when Kelly takes us to the promised land with Rees and or Quinn as OC. Plus we are all Trumplovers.

King Kelly; everything the man touches turns to pyrite. Not playing Jurkovec this year was a bit insane IMO for many reasons. Book isn’t getting better and he won’t get better. His ceiling is MAC level. We will never win a significant game with Ian Book as our QB. His final season will look a lot like this season and we will continue our descent into irrelevance.

I did not see a top 10 team on Saturday. Nothing says dominant football like King Arthur screaming, “Run Away!!!!” We couldn’t run it if we wanted to in the 4th quarter and we never put our back ups in. Kelly sucks ass.

This season bought them more time. It didn’t provide anything meaningful for a neglected and exploited fanbase. We are fat, dumb and happy. How do you like your ass? Chowed.

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