NDNation Virginia Postmortem

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

Jumbotron still way too loud!! Way too loud. They no longer do “We… Are… N… D” at all anymore. I didn’t see the game yesterday but caught most of it on the radio. It did not sound pretty. It’s just not fun to watch this team. Mostly because, every time they show BK in his detached, arms crossed stance, I want to hurl. I do wait for BK to step on his own foreskin any minute. He’s a sub-par FBS head coach. Get this fucking guy out of here. Kelly you suck!

BK and Chipper showed their continued head scratching, grab bagging, asshattery playcalling. I wonder how much I would have to donate to ND to endow the offensive coordinator position and hire my neighbor. He was more insightful than Long after watching 1/2 of one ND game from the stands. Running game is fake news. Is it too early to start chanting: “Jurkovec! Jurkovec!”? I don’t pay much attention.

I know I’m an ahole. Virginia, like the rest of the ACC suck. Beating them tells me precisely dick about our team. You can eat a bag of dicks too. Did your wife bang someone else last night? I didn’t do that you fucking pussy wanker.

Did anyone else enjoy Kelly’s halftime pep talk? He had me ready to bump into a wall for him. I decided to overdose for the 2nd half after listening to it. We’ve essentially given up even trying. For the love of God, he has to lose that “trust your coaching” line I keep hearing. just seems douchie to me. Such an arrogant ass.

Kelly is the luckiest guy in the world. He’s an erratic dullard with no feel for the game. Kelly didn’t invent stupidity but he’s definitely fine tuning it. Long and Kelly debate calls on the sideline like they intercepted an Al Qaeda message. Quinn gets an F. Unwillingness to call running plays gets Kelly and his OC an F.

Our unimaginative run game emerges from time to time. I could swear Kelly is jealous of any success we have there. The hire of Quinn, underwhelming and predictable at the time, has borne the mushy, mealy, fruits many thought it would. I have no idea what Tom “don’t call me Tommy anymore” Rees brings as a position coach. He’s an ND guy — hooray, what a lad.

when did winning 10 out of your 13 or 14 games become a big deal? What’s our ratio of big chunks to blew chunks? We are abysmal in almost every way. above average low ceiling mediocrity last year, and dogshit again this year. I still pine for John Harbaugh.

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