NDNation Offseason #7

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

I am not sure I will watch the game. This has to be an all-time low for excitement less than a week from kickoff, and coming off a 12-1 playoff caliber season. As long as Kelly is around the best we can hope for is a ceiling of #3 or #4 team in the country. Unfortunately many in our fanbase are more than happy with such ceiling. 11-2 would be “Meh” for me. I am depressed.

Only saucy’s piss boy Brian Kelly can bore us with 12-0. I do not consider 2018 a “great” ND season. They won each game, which counts for something. But those were not good teams. I’d still take Lou in a heartbeat to get BK out of here and then do a proper coaching search absent the Savvy One. But I guess I’ve always been a dreamer.

I dont accept that anything has changed since Time immemorial. I’m not emoting about this season. To the contrary. I have a high level of disinterest. when was ND’s last rivalry game that mattered? we never beat a truly prime time Sparty team under BK. Vacated wins in 12 do not count. 

Does anyone need a good vomit? our smarmy blow-dried asshole coach is comlete shite, our fetid carcass gamplan is terrible and we suck when it counts. Our top guy wouldn’t crack the Big Ten’s Top 5 list. monkeys trying to fuck footballs in a giant ditch filled with pig shit.

Rockne Stadium has become just a giant 7-11 Cheese Whiz dispenser. I think of ND’s stadium enlargement like penis enlargement. Not something that should be or should have been messed with. I’m a Luddite. The lilting laughter of feminine voices. Savvy’s laughing at us.

Forces that would prefer ND be smothered in its Sleep. Does Jack golf? Has he stood naked at the mirror shaving?  He doesn’t need to shave, the ball-less unick. The whole program is a bullshit Disney-Epcot version of a winning program. We’re like a Southern school trapped in Indiana with no way to get on TV.

2019 Alternate Uni’s. Let’s have alternate coaches as well. This is typical Notre Disney-Epcot bullshit. It’s cheaper to go this route than to actually win something of note. With BK as our coach, expect ND to play like Conan O’Brien.

F off jack. He likes his suitcases full of sweaty money. You weren’t qualified for the job when you took it and you aren’t qualified now. Ditto the plagiarist jenkins and small time vulgar fool of a HC. he’ll look like a complete fool if we get rolled by UGA which provides at least a little bit of upside in the event that we lose.

Who needs prostitutes when you can take a girl on the Mezzanine level to watch the players walk in the stadium. I mean if that doesn’t get her in the mood, I don’t know what will…So it’s ok because the kids like it. “Come to ND, where you won’t learn any manners.”

for the record Everclear Jello shots with a Natty Lite chaser is the official brain cell eraser of ND. Drink more. You might have shart yourself.

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