NDNation Offseason #5

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

The new leprechauns have been annouced. Can’t ND pick one trans/multi-racial/anti-Trump leprechaun? Mayor Pete comes closest, but he’s out of eligibility. Question – how is an Irishman an “African American”? I’m not sure the world is ready for a leprechaun pantsuit just yet! PC mindset.

Can’t they hold a The Shirt Design Contest? They need to get fonts under control. Branding at ND must be like herding cats. Tradition my ass. The pants evoke racist caricatures of Asians. They look like Fu Man Chu’s face, ominously rising from some kind of portal or toilet. I wish The Shirt had a Hot Dog Machine on it but UA will dress us in clown suits. a garnish to an 8 or 9 win shit sandwich.

Only one home night game this year. The appeal of day games should be nearly universal. If you’re in from out of town and the game kicks off at 7:30pm, you’re sitting around your hotel for the whole morning and probably part of the afternoon. It would be even better if they started about 1:30 PM. played entirely during daylight hours. Some people aren’t homebodies on Saturday nights, spending all day doing honeydos for mothers in law.

I didn’t see the whole scrimmage but it appeared to me that from what I saw, it’s the same old shit. I don’t want any part of your circle, jerk. In short, there was very little to get excited about. We’ll still have our shanty offense. Another example of homer geeks being full of shit.

BK is running the same offense from ten years ago. There are no 17 yard square ins/square outs. No 17 yard button hooks. Really shines like a turd in the red zone. The main weakness of the offense is its vulnerability to putting the QB in the hospital. we might not have a single explosive player on offense next year. I would really like to see an H back kind of kid with some ass.

The passing game, even with Book, is lame. he’s a perfect fit for Kelly’s Yugo offense. I tend to think the governor on the offense is not his arm strength but instead the shitastic system itself. This team won’t attack opponents, it will try to bore them to death. As lame as ever.

By what should be the time of possession standard at Notre Dame, Kelly’s offenses have been a disaster. that Irish sunamed shanty shiite is to blame. Feed him to the remaining dragon. Let Gregor “the Mountain” Clegane skull fook Daddy Swarbucks. Then, have “the Mountain” deliver the impaled head of that faux foo kin’ president John “Jag-Off” Jenkins to the next BOT meeting. What a bunch of foo kin’ Lannisters wanting to protect “their” gold.

Finally, a 5-star recruit is Irish! Spoiler: He’s a long snapper. This is a joke, right? Tallest midget. Best looking girl in Physics class. It would not surprise me if BK’s final years resemble Ty’s with lazy recruiting. Kelly doesn’t develop kickers either.

Will Kelly be allowed to pass Kockne or even Holtz in wins? I hope not. Kelly’s specialty is making chicken shit out of chicken salad. He does not derserve to sit a top that mountain. Thank goodness for the ’20’s, 40’s, and 60’s!

With regard to Michigan fan expectations, it’s honestly admirable. They really have never become jaded in the same way our fan base has. Maybe my perspective is skewed. I doubt it. You get way TOO excited about Kelly and have fallen victim to his lowering the bar of expectations. I believe we’ve figured out how to be Wisconsin.

All these cross-site arguments are annoying and tiresome. I’ve got a life to lead. I can only assume that marijuana has been legalized where you live. no Busch Light or Pabst Blue Ribbon allowed. The umbrage you continue to take is misplaced. I am making fun of somebody else, not you. I’m honestly not sure why you waste your time, and ours. Gimme some sugar baby xoxo.

Most of our games against our just the tip conference brethren are snoozefests. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. he just flashed his man boobs. Some men are longer than others. Big heart. Small penis. Can’t lose.

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