NDNation Clemson Preview

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

Last time we were in the NC “bracket” we lasted about as long as Rick Pitino in an Italian restaurant. Hey, we were in that game for about 3 drives. Pitino only made it two pumps. The idea is not really going the extra mile to make ND truly elite, good enough to not be mediocre and yet still drive merchandising. Happiness is hard to come by but I’ll never run out of hate.

ND just has to play better tomorrow to win. We are going to kill their qb. We need to keep him in the pocket and make sure he doesn’t scamper for 12-15 yards at a crack. I like Rees in Book’s corner (he says after panning the Rees hire). We’re gonna knock Sunshine’s dick in the dirt Saturday.

we will see Air Kelly tomorrow. BK has a little edge to him in today’s press conference. Admit it. He’s growing on you, like a barnacle. I like THIS guy. He’s calling himself Brian Kelly, but I like this one.

My naps are scheduled for mid-afternoon. Does anyone have any recs for how to project the game onto the inside of my eyelids? Out of principle, I wouldn’t buy a seat from ND. I’ll be sitting in a porter potty at an outdoor medieval fair, battling a horrible case of the runs. a good old trashing of the liver. How do I watch the game if I accidentally drop my phone into the toilet? You eat ass.

I don’t want to share my gamewatch with the poors. does anyone know how I can watch on a private jet on the way to Tahiti? Forget the tailgater. Just hire 50 hookers and call it a day. You should bring rubbers….and a comb, definitely a comb. I’d project the game directly onto the strippers. You can continue to watch the action while still watching the action. I heard ostarine is commonly found in lube. Not the car kind – the butt stuff kind.

I’d like our opponent to be able to field some facsimile of a two-deep roster, but it strains credulity to think there aren’t many more who would test positive. I’ve been checking out some of their boards trying to get word on the B sample. There seems to be an unusually high percent of posters that lack class. Hair products my ass. If the banned substance truly is in hair products…can we at least make sure the QB has been tested?

My hateful rage for them starts with their color combo…of orange and purple. Really, what cock-eyed sense of fashion ever possessed them to come up with that? It most certainly was born of pure evil. I’ve never owned a orange shirt. My kids wrestling club wears purple. I don’t wear that either. I also would never wear red.

Dabo is a Combo baptist preacher and a used car salesman. I don’t like or trust that hic. Dabo is no Saint, He knows how the NCAA game is played. His hick demeanor belies his valueless intentions. That’s southern charm for you’re an idiot. Beware the charm and civility.

I told my neighbor here in South Carolina I’m not sure why ND even shows up for the game and then said a prayer for him at midnight mass. They are a bunch one one wheel in the ditch banjo playing mental defectives who whistle Dixie. Let’s not go overboard. It’s the flag bearer (you know which flag) for the f/k/a Southern Conference. They are not our friends. They are hicks.

My congressman is old enough to remember a time when people didn’t make bullshit excuses to explain why ND couldn’t compete as expected on the field. So, homogenous = bad; diverse = good. OK, got it. No pompous BS there. How stupid of those simpletons. Don’t they know you’re smarter than them?

John Harbaugh is off the market. Kelly AP coach of the year. When did this become a participation award? I dont find Kelly very likable. At least his mother likes him. He REALLY needs to strike while the iron is hot! To Green Bay, BK!!! He needs to erase the stink of some previous turds.

Being 12-0, Wouldn’t You Think We Could Get 1 5-Star Guy? Being 12-0, Wouldn’t You Think We Could Get at least 1 5-Star Guy ? does our class include any top 25 player? Top 50? Top 75? Top 100? (Asterisk: please do not include OL or TE). ND football is like how the Brooklyn Dodgers used to be. Its always “Wait till next year.”

I pronounce that Kelly and staff turtled and settled for (I love this new laugher of a garbage term) “profile fits” which roughly translates as “self selectors who I don’t have to fight Alabama for”. We aim lower and the Kellylovers nod knowingly and approvingly and sagely. ND stadium has lost it’s soul.

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