NDNation Postmortem: Southern Cal

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

I come here to openly admit that I’m a dumb@$$. I predicted, repeatedly, a 7-5 ceiling for this team, with 4-8 more likely, prior to the start of the season. So I happily make my apologies tonight. Notre Dame remains BOWL ELIGIBLE!!! No need to confess anything. Kelly has been arrogant on more occasions than he should be forgiven for. Yes, I’m a moron, but I have an opinion, and you’re going to listen to it.

Troy is Burning, Ann Arbor  has VD from her latest railing. May not kill her immediately , but it will make her crazy. Notre Dame could always benefit from more anal. Mama says girls are the devil! Desmond Howard can kiss my ass. Be sure to have antibiotics on board for said kiss.

Michigan saw the Maryland-OSU game and thought Meyer was too weakened by tuberculosis to beat them. I hope their children are still crying about it. Hey kid — fuck you.

Swarbrick doing a victory lap for retaining Kelly. I just cannot stand this guy. In my dream, the two of them get into a fistfight someday. You mean a pillow fight, right? Jack should be fired for the way ND looked in the 1st qtr. Nice job, Jack. He and Kelly nearly cost ND the game in a nutshell. That is it.

His f’ing shanty series damn near contributed to the Irish missing the playoffs. Fuck Swarbrick. This isn’t his achievement. someone needs to make our PR push. I’d rather it not be Molesty McWhistlepig.

I don’t think I was wrong about Kelly. I think he was incredibly fortunate with the strength of this year’s schedule. I am surprised that this season has given so many a change of heart on him. I’m not seeing it. Gene Chizik won a title.

The reach is comparing it to past title seasons. Perhaps if we lose again in the postseason, Kelly can get another Participation Trophy. Nothing is special without a title. we can no more choose to think differently than water can stop being wet. Behold the field where I grow my fucks. Lay your eyes upon it and see that it is barren!

Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!1!! We have 12 and 0 talent!!1!! But we have a 7 and 5 coach. I long for the days when I scratched my head when Holtz lost to Walsh’s Stanford because it was an outlier. We were 0-0 in 2012. Is that perfect? This is me inviting you to eat your own ass.

OK, we’ve had our fun. It’s time to get brown drunk. The feeling I had last night while stammering my way to bed was that this team could and would find ways to a Miami-like meltdown and be exposed once again in the playoffs. we’d be no match for Ohio State.

Why do we work so hard To change the bar? Seriously, when did we start measuring success on the regular season alone. I just don’t understand the point of all the stupid cherry picked stat shit, it’s lame and pointless. Who gives a flying fuck about undefeated regular seasons. I just don’t need the ND spin machines load of bullshit.

Lea simply f’d up his game plan. I won’t believe we actually have an elite defense. No facts please. Our minds are made up. Tell that to President Hillary.

Brian Kelly: “We’re like a broadway show”. The comment made no sense. He meant off broadway. He butchered the analogy. He also said “on Broadway show” like a rube.

Wasn’t expecting a win. Team was flat; Kelly had that Alabama 2012 look in his eye. The coaching staff needs to keep its head out of its arse. I’ll enjoy the win tonight And delete the DVR recording of it tomorrow. Why watch this cluster F again ???

Book’s run on 3rd and 11 run and pass to Finley before half were excellent. I assume the smile was wiped off of Keyshawn’s face. I believe he takes Traveler with him to Golden Corral. They both eat like a horse. Choke on Traveler’s dead dick.

Any talk of not bringing Finke back next year should be over. Was anyone talking about this? Across. Doesn’t want him unless Boykin doesn’t go pro.

My wife is worried that I have no appetite for ND games. I go into shutdown. I’ll be ok some time tomorrow around noon. Last week, I got to pre-game and had to turn it off. Live on TV is even worse. I turn into a raging, frothing at the mouth madman, screaming at the television. And that’s if I’m sober. It’s just plain scary if I drink anything. Attending a game live is even worse because there is no room to leave and no place to throw a temper tantrum. You’re lucky, I suffer from a huge erection during the games and of course I am speaking of Kelly.

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