NDNation Bye Week Postmortem

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

I used to dream about vacationing in Europe. Now I dream about getting away from my kids. I’ll eat some wings and pizza, drink a 12 pack of craft beer, and shit my pants then pass out about 11:30 pm. The only accurate part of this post is that you’re going to shit your pants. you’re going to owe make up sex to every NDN poster, so we all have a vested interest that you get this damn ad issue fixed! I don’t any poster wants to go down that rabbit hole.

My Michigan friend is claiming if they win out they will “see Notre Dame in the playoffs and get our revenge.” As sweet as it would be to humiliate them twice in one season, I hope that their nutburger coach shits all his organs into his dimestore khakis and dies on the sideline in a smear of red brown and beige.

Any shot that we can pin Khashoggi’s death on Kelly? Was thinking that Khashoggi was found dead from boredom in front of a TV during one of BK’s pressers. Then we turn Kelly over to the Turks to be placed in one of their prisons.

Kelly is doing a great job with this team. Just like Captain EJ Smith did with the Titanic. You chug pickles. A good job so far means precisely dick half way through any given season. Celebrating 7-0 shows just how fucking far we’ve fallen. Here’s a thought: we aren’t that good. Our offense eats ass. We aren’t very good, just better than almost everyone else.

Who here can’t say that — outside of South Bend — West Lafayette isn’t Heaven on Earth? Natty Lights for pregnant Purdue women all night!! Eat a big bag, Urban. Buckeye fans dumping big time on their coach and qb. not to mention shitting on their couches before lighting them on fire. Buckeye fans dumping big time in their coolers. This one was more of a Depends or Huggies variety. I’m sending Meyer that hairy chest and back sweatshirt to cheer him up.

So many warnings of dong-stepping and drinking ass piss. Let’s pound these guys. Let Navy pile on garbage points in the last minute down 20, whatever. Khalil, Drue, Terry Jillery, et al. can watch from a hot tub.

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