NDNation Michigan Postmortem

Folks, we’re back with round two of our NDNation roundup series. Our previous post resulted in the NDN twitter account telling us we have too much time on our hands (true) as well as this sick burn right back at ’em. You may be feeling pretty good about the Irish turning the Wolverines into the Lolverines, but Rock’s House is here to remind you that we’re actually bad, and Michigan just happens to be worse. What would we do without their clear-minded pragmatism to bring us back down to Earth?

Ah the Sweet smell of Victory over Michigan. Let’s hope this is the start of a beautiful season. You could say that again! Ah the Sweet smell of Victory over Michigan. Let’s hope this is the start of a beautiful season.

I actually saw grown men curling up into a fetal position in front of me. It was glorious. I’ll take this over a classic Kelly turd any day. Is it possible that we’re good – at least we’re not out of the playoffs before Labor Day.

Typical BK. Start strong. Opponent adjusts. BK doesn’t. Rely on an athlete to save it. I am REALLY not impressed. A better offensive line and a better game day coach and we are talking about one of the all-time choke jobs in ND history.

Now the players are a different story. I give them joy in their victory. It is a traditional congratulatory expression. They should let Te’von run out of the tunnel holding a jar of jelly and a bottle of syrup. Small mercies while stuck in Kelly purgatory.

Sorry but the fact that we won did not really change my take on this team and Brian Kelly as a coach. Beating Michigan was fine. Brian Kelly- making even ND wins excruciating to watch. [fart] he’s been consistently mediocre over the past decade. So I think there’s plenty cause for concern for the rest of the season. Offense looked the same as ever. of course our brilliant coaching staff made no adjustments.  It still looks like the offense came off the back of a Cheerios box. If anything, the play will get worse as the season wears on.

The inability to get 1st downs when they need them…Is a Kelly trend that is particularly frustrating. Get used to it. He is who we thought he is. I thought the the play calling was probably a C+/B-. Book is 2 for 2. Two plays, two handoffs to Jafar, two touchdowns. If only there were room on the roster for a fullback.

Kelly outcoached Harbaugh. Denny’s has hotter waitresses than Perkins. Kelly never turns the corner….he just keeps running in circles. This is the same Harbaugh that coached at Stanford, right? If JH wasnt a total buffoon this might have ended differently. I hope we hire his brother.

I don’t think it is too early to say Jeff Quinn was an awful hire. But Kelly went with the crony hire because “the kids just love him” and because he is buds with Kelly. I didn’t like what I saw from the OL. Bad vibes there. This hire will be almost akin to his BVG hire when all is said and done.

Our special teams suck and will always suck under Kelly. among the many reasons last night sucked was because we didn’t block a punt. They give me chest pains every time. The D is good, Wimbush’s legs are good, the rest…meh.

Tomorrow ND is a 9-3/8-4 team. Michigan might finish 6-6. Tonight I’m getting drunk as a skunk and going to call every Michigan alum I know. I hope the Michigan team bus stops at a Chipotle with norovirus on the way home.

Last night visited upon them an existential crisis. Hope is gone, with no light at the end of the tunnel. No Hail Mary, or whatever their equivalent is. An irrelevant third-rate nothing program that duped itself into thinking an overrated coed banging alcoholic looney tune would be their savior. A stoic, proud, pseudo-intellectual, unfuckable shell of a man. Harbaugh was supposed to be the answer, but all he did was reveal the answer: their lives are over. There you are, strapped in, shitting yourself. Then you are electrocuted and you die.

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