10 Things I Hate About You: Ball State

  1. I recently found myself reading Ball State’s 2015 press release announcing this game, as one does, when one is normal. Apparently, as a St. Patrick’s Day promotion, fans who bought two tickets (to any game) could choose between TWENTY-ONE McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes or free Lucky Charms cereal FOR A YEAR. What?? I actually don’t hate this, I’m just jealous. I want the Lucky Charms.
  2. Their name is Ball State. Yeah, we get it. We’re playing sports, this sport uses a ball, whatever.
  3. Their name is Ball State. Yeah, we get it. Testicles.
  4. Papa John went to Ball State? What? He didn’t go to Louisville? Weird???
  5. I vaguely recall Ball State being the highest-ranked team in Indiana in 2008 during their 12-0 stretch in whatever trash conference they play in. Yep, Ball State was better that season than a team with Jimmy Clausen, Golden Tate, Michael Floyd, and Kyle Rudolph.
  6. I hate you because you’re boring and I don’t have enough reasons to hate you! Say what you will about Michigan, but they sure as shit make themselves easy to hate.
  7. Indiana is boring and flat (classic self-own).
  8. Gary/Jerry/Larry Gergich has a timeshare in Muncie, so I assume everyone there is prone to frequent fart attacks (guess we’re gonna do a Parks & Rec reference in each of these, huh).
  9. Brady Hoke is a proud alum – how’s the “Notre Dame chickened out [of the Michigan rivalry]” comment aging? Fucking loser.
  10. They have a famous (“famous”) statue on campus called “frog baby” and it’s literally a baby holding frogs and it creeps me out. Hard pass on frog baby.

One Reply to “10 Things I Hate About You: Ball State”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: