NDNation Duke Postmortem

Let’s start with a positive before I start bitching…Michael Mayer. pretty dreary game. my dog fell asleep in the first quarter. Smart dog. Smelled like beef farts. Just eat the shit sandwich and shut up, because more is on the way. mediocrity is now the gold standard for the program. I wouldn’t even pay Kelly in Schrute Bucks. Poo dollars? Depends on who’s poo and what they’ve been eating. pooping daily is encouraged.

What have I done to deserve this? A five year extension? I hate everyone. ND is considering joining the ACC full-time, kind of like a washed up floozy looking for a decent whorehouse to live out her days. Heck, what a year! COVID and now this? After this year, I am not afraid of going to hell!

I cannot imagine formulating the thought that we should hire from within to perpetuate this goddamned program. It hovers between mediocre and putrid, feasting and padding its record on ACC dregs and also rans and buy games and rivals on the down swing.

Missed the game. How did Tom Rees do? Even slower than Long to adjust. As expected he lacks the experience needed to be able to adjust real time during games. For that matter we don’t even know if he can adjust at half or between games yet. I’d say so far he has confirmed every single fear anyone had about him and did zero to show maybe we were wrong.

Practice run a lot more. That’s 99.9% of issue and never will be changed under Kelly. It doesn’t really matter what run plays we have or call. Reality is they are practiced probably less than 97% of all football teams – so we will never execute well. Having a FB/blocking back would also aid the run game.

ND’s faculty members didn’t buy all of their available tickets. I guess more than a few don’t want tickets that can’t be resold. That’s something to remember when we return to merely abnormal times. ND should eliminate the middle man and sell them directly to Clemson fans.

The team is together all game on the sidelines, yet must social distance during the alma mater? Covid-19 is serious…haven’t you heard? It’s like wearing your mask in the restaurant until you get to the dinner table. Gotta keep the hoax going until Nov 4.

so Brian Kelly will be the winningest ND HC someday soon. I’m having a hard time with that. More wins than: Rockne, Leahy, Ara, Holtz. couldn’t carry one of their jocks and he’ll be the winningest coach ever. if he wins an NC I’d support a statue. Hell, they can melt down my collection of cock rings for it. A statue I’d be happy to help tear down…I’ll settle for pissing on it.

Nobody will confuse Kelly with anyone on ND’s Mt. Rushmore. Mt. Flushmore, on the other hand …I was referring to both Kelly’s customary visage AND his habit of multiple stinky turd games per year. What a real AD would do would use Rocks record as a reason to retire Kelly and open up the bank vault for Urban who seems interested.

Jack Swarbrick has done many puff interviews since he became Notre Dame’s athletics director, but Saturday’s sit-down at halftime is the new puffery gold standard. Good thing for the social distancing protocols, or the puffery might have wound up on a gay porn website. Still might, especially sporting that sexy baseball cap and mask combo.

Jack has won. Turf. piped in music. Tom Rees as coach in waiting. Kelly extension. ACC logo on the field and the helmet. mediocrities with MAC backgrounds (and destinies). And the least common denominator of it all…Brian “Quarterback Whisperer” Kelly. It’s over. The Notre Dame I knew is gone. It has been for some time. 

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