NDNation Iowa State Preview

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

Why the Campers Bowl.???? We’re going boweling!!!! We shat the bed this year; I just pooped in my pants. LET’S ALL GET COCKED!!!! Kelly’s innovation isn’t just that he pisses sitting down. But that he does it while sitting in the reverse cowgirl position.

the dipshit Kellyloving podcasters had their heads up their asses. You should be required to bow to me and acknowledge our supremacy. We are boring to watch. We are a shadow. our running game eats ass. At this rate I may never set foot in ND stadium ever again. They are he** bent on continuing the annual hoodwink. We frittered away all assumptions of greatness. What is Notre Dame Football’s destiny ? Pain, withering, entropy, death.

You’ve got to wonder what it is about for Swarbrick. Has he shown his face to the media since it’s been announced that ND made it to the toilet bowl? Just hoping to hang on in the event that in year 14 Kelly gets all the bounces and lucks into a championship? Then he can feel vindicated and rub everyone’s nose in it?

If a mutiny is in the works, how is BK not the target? kelly has a history of unhinged lunacy involving players, assistants, fans…kelly’s “ND clown show” continues. “Now that that prick Long is gone, everyone is again bending to my will, and my will only!” He’s been on the sidelines for going on 10 years. The Paleolithic Age seems shorter in comparison.

I’ve heard from more than a few sources that Chip likes to have a few and then run his mouth about how smart he is and how dumb everyone else is. He is not the only one on the staff who likes to hit the bottle hard. He should just do it in his hotel room. I heard he stabbed a guy and then took a dump on the dome. Maybe Kelly was afraid of Long. I’d buy that…

The picture I’m getting is that Kelly, Long, and Quinn were about as functional together as Moe, Larry, and Curly. Comical ineptitude punctuated with face slaps, eye pokes, and head clunks. Kelly keeps dreaming up new ways to step on his crank. He has a trademark on garden variety lack of competence magnified by double down assholery. So shove that up your ass.

How are they going to capitalize on the averted Long mutiny by the players? Dear leader must be working the phones to let all the potential recruits know he has removed the problem, right? you can bet your coarse, curly butt hairs that Kelly won’t ever go outside The Family again for an offensive hire. now we will replace him with a 25 year old with zero legitimate coaching experience.

I’ll bet if we did run it 655 times, we’d comfortably clear the new standard for success of 10 wins. Who hired this pigskin version of Stonewall Jackson? Some asshat hired a slightly duller asshat. He’s college football’s Mr. Magoo. He belongs in front of a carnival sideshow tent.

The entire reason we signed the ACC deal is to bail out our basketball program. look how handsomely that has paid off with our in-laws of the ACC. Maybe more like cousins. And one day we will marry our cousins like they do in eastern Kentucky and the British royal family.

Pres. Trump just reversed the reversal. Army and Navy guys can go straight to the NFL again. If he had worn the “Run the damn ball” cap , I’d be tempted to vote for him next year. Presidential impeachments are now more frequent than ND football national championships.

I think we can all agree recruiting since Weiss has never made it back to Davies levels. Jack math: 1 star plus Kelly = 5 star…Any questions? I don’t believe many of us think that getting more 5 star recruits would put ND back into the elite of college football. It’s a class that will give us no shot to win the playoffs. A recruiting class to make Bob Davie proud. could end up being the worst 2-year recruiting since TW left. Purgatory continues.

Many do not come to ND because of kelly. That is a fact. Some parents of elite prospects smirk/chuckle at the mention of his name. Youngs don’t pay for shit until 48 hours before kickoff. This whole model will cave in on itself in the next 15 years once all the olds are dead/unable to attend.

So one recruit is a flat earther, and another puts ketchup on ice cream. Standards have really been lowered with this class. I would think being a cannibal would be a plus. Shows he has a fire in his belly.

My Christmas wish was/is that the obtuse Right-challenged Dishonorable President, the incompetent Right-challenged Dishonorable VP & DoA, and the dearly beloved Right-challenged Dishonorable HC are gone before summer. I may even wish upon a star for three very well placed shooting stars. Think individual bolts of lightning at a safe distance, but with the effects of successful electroshock therapy. It may be our only hope.

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