NDNation Hot Stove Roundup #1

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

This is not the Notre Dame I know, to ever play a 7-5 Cyclone team in the What Bowl is not exciting and very disappointing. Have we finally burned through our equity? It’s the coach. ND is on life support. Disneyfication, Jacktron, fake field, fake smoke, etc. It’s over. Great run while it lasted, but it’s over. We have become a Mid-Major. Next stop – Tuesday Night MAC-tion. Surely the returns for Jack’s Disneyfication strategy have come in this year, and they must be recognized as turdly.

saucy just won the “AD triple crown.” TV ratings …. down. Sell out streak …: dead. Bowl game recognition …. snubbed….. .These are dangerous trend lines. We’re losing support and being marginalized on a national stage. Swarbrick independence is a Bolivian Peso. Monk, the BoT, and the terrorists have won. I would expect we start to hear from BK soon that we need a conference championship game to give the lads something to play for.

Latrine Bowl is the best this coach could get us. We are really an 0-2 team. The rankings take into account that we have beaten no one. super dope invitation to The Pork Rind Soup Nazi Bowl or whatever low rent money grab we decide to take. There lies the golden goose, bleeding to death before our eyes, and Swarbrick basically brags about stabbing it. this feels like a stale kitchen sponge to the face.

Now official. USC AD announces Helton retained. Kelly rejoices, ND fans who want a change mourn. USC and ND fans have something in common. We both have coaches we don’t want. One difference is that Helton doesn’t have a lifetime pact.  Someone explain to me what Kelly does better than Helton. that shanty fuck is clearly going to be here as long as he wants. These Kellylovers would make Lindsay Graham and Matthew Gaetz blush. But would either of those guys tongue kiss their wives on social media?

If only all could admit the shitshow and lay the blame entirely at Swabrick and Kelly’s clown shoes. The ACC didn’t toughen us up adequately for the grind of playing a Big XII team. I could easily see them beating us by 10-20 points. this will be another humiliation. We’re going to get worked by the PSYCHLONES. Imagine losing to a five loss team. This could be a blessing in disguise. Jack could Let Kelly go with good reason.

Let’s just say I’m not pitching any tents over this game. I wonder if ND players were able to vote today would they vote to decline the Camping World Bowl invitation. there would have to be a culture of striving for excellence in each and every way within the football program and some sense of shame when you don’t measure up. Accordingly, opportunities for Tweets and Instas that even less than meaningful games provide is a powerful aphrodisiac that would be difficult to give up.

One can easily picture the look on BK’s face if the Cyclones go all “Ned Beatty-Deliverance” on him. You can almost hear him squealing like the shanty pig that he is (as he throws the team under the bus). shanty’s head, thus his mouth is impacted so far up his posterior that butt kissing and being the mouth piece doesn’t require much effort. 

ESPN posted the 150 greatest college coaches in college football history. #89 Kelly. Where did “A Dead Cat” finish in this poll? Undoubtedly it was higher than 89. Lea is mediocre. Kelly is irretrievably awful. The offense cannot and will not work. There is no chance for success. Do not sugar coat it.

Football Scoop reporting Long is looking for an out. Replacing Long is simply rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Has he been coaching the last few games? Rumor I heard was Rees has called the last couple games. I hope Long told him to go nuzzle with a fresh turd. ND games will now be an afterthought.

Under Kelly, OC stands for “Obtainer of Coffee.”  What a low-rent program we’ve become. We’re more inbred than a family in Appalachia. Northwestern passed on him because he’s inbred with no exposure to any system that isn’t a steaming pile of camel shit. That would be the worst idea in ND coaching history. Let’s face it–anyone worth a shit doesn’t want to work for Kelly.

The irony for me is that now that I find myself with more disposable income than at any other point in my life, the appeal is gone. That which they covet most has become inaccessible to them. Nothing short of boycott will stop the madness. And even then they might just decide to shut the whole thing down.

But we’ve scheduled ourselves to 9-10 wins per year which is apparently enough for our numbnuts fanboyz. The white flag has been waved. Terms of surrender being signed. Real ND football is dead. Only ghosts remain. Ice Age III. This is what nuclear winter would be like. Somebody check the Book of Revelation. This may be a sign of the End Times.

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