NDNation Duke Preview

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

Please refresh on how to get access to the game Saturday. I don’t get the ACC Network but don’t want to miss out on the next nail in BK’s coffin. Are torturing some illegal aliens in your basement on Sat? Watching Kelly squirm on the sideline is much more fun. you will watch the game and like it…so stop with these silly posts….and enjoy the game.

Ditch the tron & I MIGHT think about attending a game. Are we not Notre Dame? Is our history built upon a legacy of greatness–with greatness being defined quite eloquently as “hanging your balls out there”? I’m pretty sure I want us to lose 4 straight.

I know a lot of my old dorm buds that go to games just for “the experience”. I had dinner with one of my dorm mates a few years ago and it was painful. Never would any of them go home so pissed off they can’t see straight after yet another disappointing loss.

30% of the fanbase think the ND head coach is a heroic Christ like figure. 75% of ND alumni think football is no more than an excuse to see their classmates and tell tall tales to their kids if their college years. They don’t give two shits about whether ND wins 1 game or 11. It’s clearly true that many ND fans are assholes (present company excluded, of course).

BK at USC …It’s happening…oh, shove it up your ass. Go fuck a bird. Nobody is going to relieve ND of Jack or Shanty. Swarbrick is the worst AD in Notre Dame history. Douche is the word I would use. He also has one of the most punchable faces I have seen. The Nacho cheese in the stadium is much better than it used to be. Credit to Jack on that one.

who says Jack doesn’t panic and offer Kelly a lifetime contract next week ? Now THAT’S how ND rolls in the Swarbrick era. His Excellency Head Coach for Life, Spread Principles Dispenser Dr. Señor Brian F. Kelly…implosion or necrosis are our alternative fates.

American biologists Craig Bartle and Alfred Charles Kinsey reported that fewer than 1% of males can successfully orally contact their own penis and only two or three in a thousand could perform a full autofellatio. Few men possess sufficient flexibility and penis length to safely perform the necessary frontbend. This makes Jack a very special man. Kelly is too short and fat to bob for his own nob but probably wants to.

BK is the relative that no one wants at Thanksgiving Dinner. Think about his satanic face. At this point,with this arrogant tool bag head coach we could lose to Huck a Buck State or Mrs. Sweeny’s Country Day School.

Bobby Petrino would contend for a NC in short time given ND’s talent. Most sports’ gurus realize that also. Too late? I personally think not. ND is too sophisticated to give a down and outer a chance however, even if they would keep him under lock and key in the crypt of Sacred Heart. He’s a fish eatin’ cross back, has adult children, fulfills his weekly Sunday Mass obligation, and from what I’ve heard he’s put his private life together and doesn’t even cuss no more.

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