NDNation Southern Cal Postmortem

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

Kelly is 7-3 vs Southern Cal. oddly unsatisfying- records lie. having your qb throw it 32 times when your RB1 goes for 176 is BK in a microcosm. Our shithead coach is capable of losing to any team on our schedule. And he will likely lose at least one if not two more games. Get used to it. Whatever ND’s playoff odds were, they just shrank like testicles a day into the Iditarod. I hold out very little hope for the place, top to bottom.

Reggie Bush trashes ND. Shouldn’t you be banging a Kartrashian, Reginald? So says the guy who has a sex move named after him: The Bush Push. SUCK HIS ASS!!! What is wrong with California? Californians. typical LA pussies. They should quit football. worthy of hatred because they represent a combination of National Socialism and Communism, abortion, Elizabeth Warren, and war crimes in Rwanda.

Does the stadium look better at night or is it just me? Did my college hookups look better at night? I used my pretty-girl-really-wants-me-to-go exception to generally refusing to support Notre Dame football with my money or presence. It meant a lot to the girl. I even cheered a couple times.

It was not a great night for Clark and Chip. Kelly & his Minions turned a blowout win into a nailbiter. When coaching and execution are both lousy, you have bad results. Anything better than 2d and 13 is “ahead of schedule”. So other than we meet zero criteria for success, we are good. I won’t be the least bit surprised if we end up with fewer than 20 RB carries for less than 100 yards rushing against the Skunks.

Kelly and his offense will always crap out in a big game. Troubling that SC clearly outplayed ND. Rush 3, Drop 8, almost a prescription for prevent defense preventing a W!! Our Special Teams continues to be mediocre at best. USC should have kicked it to Kelly. I would have loved to have seen him get mangled in the scrum.

I remember when BK was hired, he stated that “ND would win a lot of football games.” Don’t t be a goddamned moron. I knew right then that he wasn’t getting off to a good start. Everyone else who screws up gets his purple volcano facial eruption. He can do no wrong in his eyes. This is a very telling sign about who he is.

I took a dump. The turd told me how great it is, and how it and those who came before it are the preeminent turds in fecal history. I flushed it. I took another dump. This turd wanted a rose placed in the toilet, which I did. “Look at me! I’ve reached the Grandaddy of them All!” It sank quickly and disappeared. No flush necessary. I took another dump, this time a splattered mess after a Guinness or two. “This dump doesn’t mean anything—we are focused on next week’s excretion in West Lafayette.” Michigan is shit. Champions of the restroom.