(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)
ESPN College GameDay will be in Athens on Saturday. Porn tube and porn hub will also be coving the game. The sight of BK’s 75 mph man tits emerging from tunnel should suffice to whip the Irish Faithful into a frothy frenzy. Be prepared for butt kicking from the start. get drunk off of Four Loko and/or MD 20/20. Always a good decision after about 30 Keystone Light drafts.
Questions for the 5 or so folks who picked ND to win. Do you really believe this team can win based on the performance so far this season? What about the 10 year performance of Brian Kelly makes you think this team can win? BK has higher % to be Korean boy band leader than beat UGA. Do you simply never pick ND to lose? Have you sought counseling? Unfortunately the rest of us proles will have to just settle for turning the television off.
Saturday night has a concrete recipe for a bloodbath. Georgia will be up 2 scores before I finish my first beer. My only hope is that Kirby calls off the dogs after the 3rd quarter so this doesn’t reach record levels. Have you ever tried pounding Natty Ice? ND has a better chance of winning than I do of remaining upright. That might become part of the plan if things get out of hand.
Kelly’s system was built for inferior talent. I expect a maximum of 9 points organically from our offense. Kelly will have a meltdown and put in Jurkovec. He’d try to tweak Trevor Lawrence’s throwing motion. Trevor would immediately punch his lights out. Then his father would finish him off and clock saucy too. CFB would forever be a better place. Frank Leahy wouldn’t have hired this butt to scrape the toilets in Rockne Stadium.
It’s going to make the Clemson game @ Arlington look like a heartbreaker. I foresee big chunks all over the field. Plays? No. But big butt chunks? You bet! Knowing Brian Kelly, he’ll have both ends primed. Dog Poo.
If we score 10 and lose by under 30 it will be a miracle. It would also be good if the bulldog dies during the game, and there is a major fire in the stadium when we are in the lead. We could demand they forfeit. Take a flamethrower to the Grotto and pray. Hard.
JS F&%#s goats. Kelly financed his waterbed. jenkins let’s both saucy and kelly get away with ND football murder. It’s pathetic. How about, after all the crap we put up with and a half billion $ invested if you don’t have a top 5 class you’re gone…I’d hire Lou tomorrow. He can coach from his deathbed for all I care. I’ve never played organized football, but I would charge a hill for Lou. I wouldn’t run a red light for Brian Kelly.