NDNation New Mexico Postmortem

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

I like cupcakes. But this cupcake tasted like poop. Barely made it through one quarter of that crap. This is the weakest team since 2015. Honestly I don’t know what these guys practice but it sure isn’t tackle football. Of course now it is Notre Dame football in name only. This team has no core competencies. Kelly you ignorant slut (Dan Aykroyd voice impersonated). We scored 66 points but your candy ass offense/passing game still sucks.

Hey Bob Davie! Fuck you. You should have come to South Bend to take that beating like a man. Probably worried a hot dog machine would kick your ass again.

Why was Kelly yelling so much at the ref in the 4th quarter? A little excessive when you are up by so much to an inferior opponent. He’s a dick, and he wanted to know who stole his Lucky Charms. What are we calling this season’s shade of BK Purple? Livor mortis. Grape Gape. Smugglin’ Plum. Angry Orchid. The essence of shit.

Play #15 for more than 1 series when we are leading by 40+ fucking points. Criminal. You’d think Kelly’s a jackass or something. Like he’s trying to run Phil off. Go fuck a duck. Of course, ND just bends over like the pansies we are and does whatever our “partner” tells us. “Go F yourself ND fans” is not only BK & NBC’s motto, but that of the University as well.

This ND team needs to knock off the BS…. the look at me bs on tackles, first downs other crap needs to stop…Try to imagine Ara’s reaction to a player showboating. “There’s the bench…” The kids love it. Everybody does it…. blah blah blah. Shut up and knock someone’s goddam head off, you sizzlechests.

The line stinks relative to a flaming pile of poop. They hit like marsh mellows. It’s almost like they’re purposely missing blocks…as if this was dogshit by design. Most of our scoring plays against UNM would have been negative-yardage plays against a smart defense. Ye gods.

How many times do you need to see that we just don’t have the talent, the system or the coaching acumen to compete with elite programs to realize we will get skull fucked yet again? Too busy reading ND’s reading list of Communist Manifesto. Glad to see that parent’s college savings are being used to produce a new generation of commies. On the bright side, maybe we can find some potential football and basketball recruits within those iron curtain countries. Well done Chairman Jack!

The only problem with “opening up the playbook” is that it’s Brian Kelly’s pansy playbook. Kelly, ill-prepared to battle the years-long effects of moron oxide, just proceeded to apply more of his own. 3-4 yards per play is all you need to sustain a drive. Anything beyond that is gravy.

He is crap. The proof is in the pudding. He has been begging for a one way ticket out of South Bend for 7 years. I’ve always thought there are 30-40 coaches in the country that could have had equal or better success than he has had at ND. JS treats him like he’s top 2-3 and bends over in the process. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. Kelly hasn’t screwed anyone but ND fans for 10 years.

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