NDNation Louisville Postmortem

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

how are those positive love vibes? what are we left with? A population of alumni resigned to a diminished program. Who would think that I would not have had my son watch a minute of the game? Well, it kicked off pretty late, and I can;t fake like I give a shit. Now, ND will wait two weeks until we kick off against New Mexico, another stark raving embarrassment to our past and our present.

My personal positive from the game outcome: I was able to do all 105 pushups. I add situ-ps & squats as well, as a way of staying in shape for being nearly 60. I drank 105 ounces of Natty Ice. I had a fabulous bowel movement during most of Louisville’s second drive. I’m hoping to improve on that performance against NM. I have to stock up on the TP first.

I went to a nearby bar to watch the game. I did not identify myself as a ND alum. It was finally too much, and I left with the score 14-14. I didn’t know the result or the score until I opened my computer this morning. It’s a pattern now. If I watch any game, it’s usually for a quarter. Then, I go do something else.

Why is Chip Long still at Notre Dame? Good Lord our offense sucks. Again. What a shit coach Kelly is. Book is awful. Finke has regressed, not agressive as a punt returner. There are other soft players on the team as well. the backup QB better see some action against New Mexico – or there is no God.

We somehow moved up to 8 in coaches poll. The polls don’t mean a thing unless you’re watching a stripper. This is a mediocre team at best. nobody in their right mind should think that ND has a chance at 10 regular season wins this season. That hope flew out the window last night. It is going to be a long and frustrating season. 7-5 or 8-4 at best. Yup, were fooked.

this game could have ended in a loss just as easily. I gave up at halftime. I’m no X’s and O’s Genius but I believe Kelly’s offensive Identity can be summed up in two words; Fuck fest. Had Louisville protected the ball poopsie would have crapped himself mid third quarter. What makes Kelly a worse human being than Davie, Ty or Weis is that he is well aware of what works and doesn’t work, knows methods to do what does work, but overtly chooses to do what he knows will not work offensively.

What happened to all the Kelly-lovers? Are there Kelly supporters? It used to be that when the meanies criticized Purple Face (it is I who christened him with this moniker), the Kelly-lovers would respond with a spirited defense. Things like, “his incompetence is well-intentioned…” Stuff about secret sauce. The Admin doesn’t give a crap and doesn’t listen to us. I don’t personally know any, but there are fan boys out there online who love BK and think he can do no wrong. Relatively easy to find on Twitter/other message boards.

He will forever remain an embarrassment. Never addressed, let alone retracted, “Zero. None. Absolutely none.” That no one has ever corrected the record–not Kelly, not Swarbrick, not Fr. Jenkins–should be a daily embarrassment. Thank you Coach Kelly may I have another!? Whapp!!!

Have you not been watching Notre Dame football for the last decade? Infuriating? Yes. Incompetent? Yes? Predictable? Yes. Baffling? Unfortunately, no. Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode. What tho the odds be great or small, Under coach kelly we’ll lose them all, While our loyal sons are drinking very heavily….

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