NDNation Offseason #1

(ED. NOTE: We don’t write these ourselves! We aren’t insane! This is part of a recurring series in which we compile actual posts from NDNation’s flagship forum, Rock’s House, into a semi-coherent narrative. Original post and explanation is here. We do this every week. Thank you for not yelling at us on Twitter anymore.)

We’ve done enough wallowing, but should we not establish some common goal, especially while the bitter taste of embarrassing defeat is still fresh? How about targeting Swarbrick? Jenkins? Feeding a strong, data-rich narrative about Kelly to the national media? Perhaps I’ll just slink back into my official Notre Dame bean-bag chair, wrapped in my licensed ND throw blanket, open a cold glass of uNDefeated soda, and dream of days long ago.

Kids and parents see through Kelly’s bullshit. under Kelly there seems to be a general malaise that surrounds all activity and accomplishments. He was invited to a party at Lambeau Field. Matt LaFleur has him scrubbing the urinals and shiiters. In five years, we’ll all be eating at BK’s. And he’ll be bussin tables in that bitch, cleanin the toilets. Perhaps there’s a more competent turd polisher out there. I hope you had a hell of a piss.

The broader question is WTF actually is going through Kelly’s head? How the F after 9 failed seasons and 100% complete and total failure offensively in every single game against an elite team can’t Kelly or freaking Jack if need be not see that the offense has to change?

BK kinda reminds me of Miles Finch. He is quite the Dinglbury. At least SC had Klif for a week or two. When’s the last time we snatched up the most sought after coordinator in college football? Our offensive system needs to be scrapped and has no hope. Chase Claypool is returning. I think he would make a great OLB.

Anyone who takes solace in the result of the championship game has a short memory and loser attitude. There’s no silver lining on the turd in Dallas. I see the dipshits have segued from “your eyes deceived you, we weren’t as bad as we looked getting our ass kicked 30-3” to “hey, Clemson beat Alabama badly too so we can feel even better about Kelly’s turd!”

Who could ND get? Dabo Swinney. ND’s administration is more than happy with the steady revenue stream and just enough wins produced under Coachocinco. Any success BK has had is due to coordinators. Clemson’s staff has football acumen. I don’t believe Kelly or Long do. Lea may. Long is barely an OC.

Who would love to see an ND offense with a JamesDevelin type fullback leading the way, just plain power? He was a joy to watch even though I am not a New England fan. Devastating. I thought I’d never lose interest in college ball but I am. what they play these days looks less and less like football to me. One can dream…

Lawrence and Ross would be first-round draft picks if they declared for the draft today- I think the rule protects these kids. This is laughably offensive paternalism. Reminds me of the justifications for slavery. “paternalistic” rules keep them well-functioning, as opposed to being Hobbesian libertarian dystopias. Generally we don’t tell adults that earning a bunch of money is bad for them. About the only time we do this purportedly for their own protection is prostitution.

Boom! BK backs into a 5-star recruit. 🙂 One of the things that I like about that Kyle Hamilton was the very limited amount of “showboating,” excessive celebrating and other histrionics that took place after a number of amazing plays. He’d just get up and hand the ball to the nearest official. What a novel idea!

WR coach/player as Kelly’s RB coach. Sounds about right. I hope you’re not comparing Kelly to Ara. It all seems a bit desperate to me. the coaches know more than any of us. In the case of Kelly not really. We have been documenting the flaws of his offense for years on this site and we have been largely proven right and he has been proven wrong.

We don’t have enough positive thoughts. It’s all Notre Dame Nation’s fault. Less than being in the conversation is a personal embarrassment to me, to you, and to this university. Keep trying to force comparisons between apples and oranges to try to prove how mean and nasty we are on this board. You look foolish. Hard to have good vision with your head up your ass. Jesus, pal, your posts are linear and obtuse.

NDNation had its predecessors in the early stages of the web. After their deaths the 4 founders were immortalized with a statue. Depicted were 3 men shaking their fists at the main building while standing on top of a 4th man’s back. As part of the University’s ongoing battle against whiteness the statue was covered 25 years after its erection by a black curtain referred to on campus as Swarbrick’s Cover Up. I can assure you that even 25 years ago….Jack never had an erection.

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