FSU vs ND: A Horror Story

Lotta talk about “revenge tours” lately, huh. Especially ones that, for some unknown but surely principled reason, conveniently start just after week one’s final whistle. (Remember when Notre Dame beat Michigan in a game of American football in the year of our Lord 2018? That’s this very season!) It got me thinking that ND deserves to hop on board the revenge train, even if it’s only for one game. And who better to exact it upon than the Florida State Seminoles. Choo choo!

Given their program’s quality and consistency over the past few decades, it shouldn’t be a shock that this is the first time *ever* that the Irish will face an unranked FSU team — in eight previous matchups, the Tallahasseeans averaged a rank of 10. Pretty impressive! So, in the spirit of revenge, this figures to be a (knock on wood) good year for a nice, cathartic beatdown. Let’s go ahead and get all the bad stuff out of our system.

  • 2014: I do not have it in me to do another dive into this game, the worst game in the history of games*. Everett Golson played the game of his life, lost anyway, forgot how to play football for the entire next month, and since he technically did not beat them, decided to join them. Goddammit, just read our first post.
  • 2011 Champs Sports Bowl: see above. A decidedly less important loss to be sure, but it was almost as stupid, and we’ve already covered this one as well.
  • 2003: ND loses 37-0. THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SCORE. Man, Ty was bad.
  • 1993 & 2002: “but these were wins, Andrew” blah blah blah blah shut up I can’t hear you. These *should have* been awesome, program-defining wins on the way to potential championship seasons. Instead, as we all know, the Irish absolutely blew it each of the following weeks to Boston Fucking College. I was only seven months old during the ‘93 game (sorry), but it’s impossible to watch highlights of either of these games without a pit in my stomach, knowing full well what happened after.
  • 1996 Orange Bowl: a major bowl loss before Notre Dame’s inability to win major bowls was officially A Thing, with a blown fourth quarter lead featuring 17 unanswered from the Seminoles to boot. Gross.

*okay, there was actually one good thing that this result helped set in motion — Jameis Winston with one of the funniest and most instantly satisfying plays in college football history.

Sooo uhhhhhh not super stuff overall. There are a few other losses that I personally feel less strongly about, but FSU has been a boogeyman for a while now, and it’s time to change that. Clearly, judging from the 1993 and 2002 results, that involves actually winning next week too, but we’ll cross that bridge soon enough.

We’re the #3 team in the country. FSU is, to put it mildly, down, having lost their lost two by a combined 68 points. It’s gonna be cold, probably snowy, and I already have flashbacks to Miami all cute and snuggly at Soldier Field in 2012. It’s time to shake off all this bad juju and send ‘em to hell. Irish by a hundred.

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